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Writer's pictureLauren Wiatrek

Why Is It So Hard To Downshift?


I find it interesting that during certain times of our life we are forced to slow down. Forced to pause, forced to rest.

As moms, we usually don’t allow us time to do that, we push through whatever it is that is trying to remind us we need to just stop. Whether that be exhaustion…from all the things… staying home with kids all day, juggling working and kids, getting up with a newborn, feeling under the weather, stress over family issues, work deadlines, the list goes on and on.

I feel like I constantly have 5,349 tabs open in my brain. I am admittedly a squirrel, I start on one thing then I bounce to the next, I come back and then bounce off to another item on my to do list. Working from home, with kids at home much of the time creates an interesting schedule. I have no schedule…but I do have items that must be accomplished all in a day’s work. While trying to love on my littles…oh and myself.

Exhausted after my first chemo infusion.

When I first went through chemo, I was knocked out for weeks. It amazed me that when push comes to shove if one needs rest or pause nature will figure out a way to make that happen. My body was introduced to a new medicine that knocked my socks off, no matter how much I wanted to have a different agenda, my body forced me stop. In that time, the only thing that mattered was my health. As I tell my babies every night, rest = healing and growth. I needed healing and growth.

After my first chemo with my babies.

So, tell me mamas, if we know all of that, if we know how important rest is, why is it so hard for us to downshift?

Here I am 19 months after being diagnosed with breast cancer and I still have to make myself pause. I run myself thin. I am not sure if any other mamas can resonate with this, but I felt like a year was stolen from me. From my family, from my personal growth, from my career and ever since I have felt healthy and “in the clear” I have wanted to make up for lost time. I yearn for helping support my family, I yearn for optimal health for not just myself but for my family and to as many people that will listen to my story. I want to help others, I want to do all of the things because I know how fleeting life is.

But saying yes all of the time is not healthy for me, for my marriage, for my children, for my relationships… I have to figure out a way to say no and be okay with that. I am a people pleaser…but you know what pleases people above all else? A healthy, happy, thriving person that can give wholly.

I love cooking for my family, but I let the business of life, get in the way of one of my favorite ways to serve my family. I love to bake with my girls. I love sitting on my couch gazing at my Christmas tree with a hot beverage in my hand. Whatever it is that you love to do, that your heart calls you to do...downshift and allow yourself that joy.

Mamas, through this Christmas season when we are trying to finish shopping, wrap presents, have meaningful moments with our husbands, teach our children about the true reason for this season, manage work, keep up with all the celebrations, visit with loved ones… try not to pile on so much that you are in overdrive. Downshift, simplify, savor those quiet moments that bring your heart thrill.

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